There's Always Someone Worse
by Ikustizen
Summary: Our favorite Potions Master goes to visit his nephew, Rei Kon. There, he discovers that there are actually people equally annoying, and even more annoying than Potter. Crossover with Beyblade. OneShot. No pairings. R


There's Always Someone Worse

By: Nezitsuki

Snape really didn't know what he was thinking when he decided to visit his nephew for the summer. Perhaps he had inhaled too many potion fumes during the year, or one of his students had slipped something in his drink.

It had all began normally enough, he had gotten to Japan easily without any disturbances. True, wearing muggle clothes made him feel a bit strange, but nothing too big.

Then it started getting chaotic. He arrived at his nephew's house and was planning on spending some time along with him. But apparently, the gods hated Snape and fate was out to get him.

"Rei," A blue haired boy said monotonously, "who is this?"

His nephew, Rei Kon, looked nervous. It wasn't his fault, Rei thought to himself, really! How was he suppose to know that his uncle was going to fly in to check on him? How was he suppose to know that his uncle didn't bring any muggle money and couldn't find a place to stay for free?

Not that it wasn't good that his uncle flew in to see him... but the way Kai was staring at him made him feel like he was trying to shove his way into Death's door.

"Urhm…This is my Uncle Snape." Rei said, glancing over at the sneering Potions Master. "He came to see me…but he didn't bring any money and he needs a place to stay so…."

"So you offered him a place to stay here?" Kai asked. His crimson eyes were flitting back and forth between 'Uncle Snape' and his Chinese slav- er, teammate. That's right. Teammate. Not slave. Teammate. Not that he didn't enjoy the good food, not having to do the laundry, not having to make the bed and all…

Anyways.

"So…can he stay? I mean, he did come all the way from London and he came here to see me so I think that if he stayed here, it would be easier for him and I could pay for his ticket for when he goes back home and ----"

"Calm down, Rei." Kai said, his voice having a little tinge of amusement in it. "I never said he couldn't stay."

Serverus Snape glared at the youth before him. This boy, Kai Hiwatari, as Rei had explained to him briefly before, was obviously not the soft kind like the Longbottom boy. Hm. This meant he had to try harder to push him around. Maybe try subtle manipulation and attacks instead of full frontal attacks. This Hiwatari boy was going to cramp his style, he just knew it.

Were all the people Rei stayed around like this Hiwatari boy? How did Rei live with these muggles without snapping and attempting to kill them? No, no, no. He had to get his beloved nephew away from these people, or at least teach him a few methods to defend himself.

"Make sure that he doesn't interfere with our training."

Such arrogance! Just like Potter and his father. Talking like he wasn't there and he didn't understand what they were saying. He'd put the boy in his place.

"You will find," Snape started saying in a drawl, "that I do not intent to disrupt your practice in any way, shape, or form. I merely came to see my nephew."

Kai glared at the man in front of him. Who gave the man permission to talk to him like he was a child? 'Uncle' Rei had said? They didn't look anything alike. He looked rather slimy, Kai decided, with his greasy hair and that hook nose.

"You don't look anything like Rei." Kai said, throwing an accusatory look at Rei. The Chinese boy would pay if Kai found out that he was lying.

"Well…Urhm…" Rei mentally sighed, he seemed to always have trouble explaining things to his cold captain.

It wasn't the glare that scared him. Heavens no. His Uncle Snape's glares were far worse than any other glares Rei would have encountered throughout his whole life. No, it wasn't the glare.

But at least he could count on his Uncle Snape to not try to kill him. He always had a hunch that if he said something wrong, Kai would sneak into his room at night and smother him with a pillow.

"My father," Snape started, glaring at the blue-haired boy. He never wanted to have to explain this to anyone other than his nephew. "had an affair with our neighbor. She gave birth to my illegitimate sister who gave birth to Rei."

Thinking about his illegitimate sister always made Snape rather cranky. His beloved sister that he used to spend almost every waking hour with. His beloved sister that he used to try to protect from his insane father. His beloved sister whose boyfriends he used to beat up if they cheated or tried to cheat on her. All the times he could never have again.

He had told Rei that his mother had died during child birth. It was a common explanation for the absence of a mother and Snape used it shamelessly. It was for his nephew's own good, after all.

He couldn't tell them that their father had killed his sister after she gave birth to Rei. No! That would cause Rei do throw himself into danger and attempt to kill the old man. He would be just like Potter. But the main concern was for Rei's health. Even he couldn't kill his own father back then, how would his nephew, a muggle, defeat such a powerful foe?

But no worries, Snape reminded himself mentally, the old man would pay….through his embarrassing moments of senility and old age that Snape always managed to get on what muggles called 'Video Camera'.

Wiztube was a very useful tool sometimes. (1)

"Hn." Kai sneered. "He can stay, but you better not let him cut into your training time." With that, the Russian turned and walked out of the door.

"Do all 'Beybladers' as you put it have sticks up their asses and act like him?" Snape asked, his coal eyes glinting maliciously.

Rei nearly choked on the milk he was drinking. His Uncle Snape. Saying other people had sticks up their asses. Ah, the irony of it all. It wasn't that his Uncle Snape was mean to him, but Rei had seen how he acted towards others and it confirmed a statement that was made many years ago that yes, Serverus Snape had a big, humongous stick up his ass.

"No, they don't." Rei said.

"Hm." Snape looked skeptical.

"Except for the Russians and Boris Balcov."

Hm….Apparently the muggle interpretations of Russians, as Snape saw on the T.V. in a random store somewhere, was true. And if it wasn't and he 'accidentally' offended one of them, he could blame the media.

Perfect.

"I'll show you around, Uncle Snape." Rei said.

He stood up, bumping into his uncle as he did so and walked towards the door, leading his uncle out of the house. Snape followed his nephew obediently. After all, his nephew was the only one that he could trust not to hex him when he wasn't looking.

Along the way, Rei explained about the game he called 'Beyblade'. Apparently, children threw spinning tops at each other and hoped that the other opponent's beyblade stopped first.

That was the stupidest idea Snape had ever heard.

"Then Bryan made his Beyblade launch itself towards my stomach."

What!?! His beloved nephew got hurt from a children's spinning top game?

"I had to stay in the hospital for a while, but now I'm okay."

Snape was angry. More than angry actually. In fact, Snape was in the mood that had been labeled by his students as 'Vengeful Potion Master Mood'. It was the mood that caused many students from houses other than Slytherin to lose more than 200 points barely ten minutes into class.

"Who did you say did that to you?" Snape asked, barely containing his anger.

"I'm not telling you." Rei said. "You would try to kill them as soon as you saw them."

Ah, his nephew was indeed smart.

Very well then, he hunt the one responsible down and 'do him in' when no one was looking.

"And don't even try to kill him when no one's looking. There are security cameras all around the place he's living at."

Drat.

Snape smelled something fishy, and it wasn't the remains of the potion that blew up in his face last Thursday.

"How would you know that there are security cameras around the place he lives?"

Rei flushed. His uncle couldn't be hinting that…

"Everyone knows! It's because everyone thinks they're mentally unstable so they have to be watched 24/7…"

So he was wrong. His nephew wasn't in love with the one that almost killed him and stalking him.

Good.

Suddenly, Snape felt pity for the Russians. All great people, other than his father, were always misunderstood and thought to be insane and evil.

Story of his life.

Maybe the Russians and that Hiwatari boy weren't so bad after all.

"So, here we are." Rei said. They were both standing in front of a large building.

"This is where you spent most of your summer?" Snape asked incredulously.

"Look who's talking! Like you don't stay in your room all day long making potions." Rei shot back. "At least I have a social life."

Ah, touché.

"I never felt the need to have a, as you put it, 'social life'." Snape drawled calmly, stepping into the building.

"Of course you wouldn't. Not after the 'Peter Paste Eater' accident."

God, did his nephew have to keep bringing that up? It wasn't his fault that he had befriended the kid who liked to eat glue. He didn't know, honestly!

"Rei!" A happy, chipper voice cut through the silence like a knife.

Happy. Chipper. Loud. Oh lord.

Uh oh, Rei observed, his Uncle Snape looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel.

"Uh, Max? You might want to keep it down." Rei cautioned his friend. If he wasn't wrong, his uncle was minutes away from killing Max with his bare hands.

"Why?" Max said in the same happy and chipper tone he used before.

Snape couldn't wait to hurt the brat when no one was looking.

"Never mind." Rei said quickly.

It was okay, Max didn't need to know. All he had to do was tell his friend to lock his door as night and… wait a second, even that wouldn't save him. There was no hope. He would always remember Max fondly as the little brother he wish would shut up when he told him to.

"This is my uncle, Serverus Snape."

Max looked at the man in front of him. Shivers ran up his spine as he took in the unfriendly face. Max swallowed.

"Hi, nice to meet you!" He managed, giving a twitchy sort of grin.

Must. Not. Kill.

Snape fought to keep his hand from reaching out and just throttling the boy in front of him.

"Likewise." Snape said in a tone that clearly stated 'Happiness me no like.'

"MAX! REI!"

God, where did they all keep coming from? At this rate, Snape wasn't sure he could find enough places to hide all the bodies.

Notice that he didn't add the 'dead'. Yes, Serverus Snape was so badass, he didn't even care if the bodies were still breathing and possibly screaming.

"Shhhhh, Tyson! Keep it down!" Max hissed to the blue haired boy that was approaching them.

The blond caught on quicker than all the rest of the students he taught at Hogwarts. Snape had to give him points for that.

"Why!!!!!??????"

This Tyson brat, however… was just like the Weasley Potter always strutted around with.

Rei sighed, telling Tyson the exact same thing he told Max.

"Oh…" Tyson didn't know what to think. Nice, kind Rei had such a scary uncle.

It was like everything in the world just blew up in his face and Boris had announced he was going to leave the beyblading world and become a monk.

"Come on Uncle Snape, I still have to show you around." Rei said, waving a goodbye to Max and Tyson, the latter with a strange expression on his face. Odd.

Snape was grumbling. If all the other bladers were all like the three he had already met, he wasn't sure if he wanted to meet them.

-----Later That Day-----

Several bladers watched as Voltaire, evil hostile takeoverer, and the one Rei called 'Uncle Snape' tear into each other.

"I bet your mom still makes your lunch!" Snape yelled at the man in front of him.

He didn't really remember how it had started. At first, his nephew was just showing him around and introducing him to the people he battled against before. They all scattered right away at the sight of him, just like the students before. There were no problems and Snape didn't feel anymore suicidal urges after the seventh blader. He got used to it.

"Well I bet you don't take showers at all!"

Then his nephew just had go and introduce him to the Russians. God, he couldn't believe that he thought they were just misunderstood like him. They were definitely NOT misunderstood. Kai gave him a pretty good picture actually.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Potter. They acted just like Potter. They acted like the rules didn't apply to them and that they could go around hurting other people's beloved nephews anytime they wanted. Their stance was full of arrogance when Rei introduced him to them. One even had the nerve to ask his nephew if his stomach hurt, in a mocking manner, of course.

But that wasn't the real problem. The real problem showed itself when the Russian team's instructor's boss came. Voltaire Hiwatari, the man he was currently involved in a childish shouting match with right now.

Voltaire Hiwatari was arrogant, fond of breaking the rules and laws, and ignorant. In short, he was worse than Potter. Both Potters. Added together.

And that was saying a lot.

Snape never thought that he would ever meet someone he wanted to hurt more than Potter in his life. But now, it seemed that he had.

Snape wanted to hurt this man more than he had ever wanted to hurt anyone else ever before.

"I bet you had to ask millions of women to bear your child before one actually agreed! And that was only because you offered her Europe! Which you didn't own!"

Ouch.

Rei winced. His uncle could get really out of hand sometimes.

"I bet your mother was a stupid whore who didn't know how to use protection and your father ended up with you!"

"You take that back!" Snape snarled, his right hand reaching into his pocket for his wand.

His wand….his wand… Where the hell was his wand!

Snape whirled around and looked at his nephew. His nephew looked up.

"Oh no, did you honestly think I would let you carry that thing around?"

Oh god, his nephew had pick-pocketed him and took his wand without him even noticing! His illegitimate sister's spirit was going to kill him.

"Give it to me! It is mine! I want it back!"

His nephew, who was almost half his age, had reduced the proud Potions Master, who was well known for making his students cry on the first day of school, to throwing a tantrum.

The other bladers were wondering what was this 'thing' and 'it' they were talking about. Could it be a gun? Was Rei's uncle in the mafia?

"I left it at home. I don't think that anyone would let you get away with hurting someone in broad daylight here. Even if they were evil and insulted you."

Snape glared. How dare his own nephew do that to him!

"He usually is located in his room at night," Rei whispered loud enough that all the other bladers could hear, but not Voltaire. "Get him when no one's looking."

Many bladers were now shooting Rei incredulous looks. Was Rei actually telling his uncle that it was okay to hurt someone? Then they remembered that it was Voltaire's life they were talking about, and they didn't say anything.

Snape calmed down and shot the now almost pissing his pants evil old man a death glare, and let it be known that Snape had never used his level 5 death glare on anyone at Hogwarts before.

The old man that almost be pissing his pants became the old man that just pissed his pants.

'I'll get you later." Snape hissed threateningly, before grabbing his nephew by the arm and dragging him out of the room.

Once they were outside, Rei looked up at his uncle.

"This was an interesting visit, right?"

Snape glared at his nephew with a level 3 glare.

Rei backed away slowly, whimpering slightly.

"Next time, you're visiting me."

Fin.

I was making a reference to Youtube. Don't ask me how wizards access it. Simple answer: Magic.

Review please.

-Nezitsuki


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